Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
