I bet he comes in French.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
