She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
