Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
