Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
