He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
