I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
