pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You can't just leave with hair like that
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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