Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
