Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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