guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
