He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
