I'll bet she douches with gravy.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
