I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
