If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
