stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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