i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize