think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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