I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
