My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
