There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
