Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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