apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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