Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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