My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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