this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
