This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
