absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He did a backflip because drugs
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