take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
