I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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