but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
