I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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