2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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