Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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