So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
