i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
