i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
