he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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