I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
