I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
