hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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