all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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