Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
