oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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