she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
