ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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