remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize