i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
