I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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