Don't you send me to vm
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
