If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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