Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
