He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
zippers are such a cool invention
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
