dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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