why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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