I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
