So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
