I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
