We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
